We’ve all had conversations where the topic of cheating is discussed and recently I had such a discussion with a friend who was telling me that she had caught her husband calling some phone sex lines, and how she was so angry that he had been using her own credit card to pay for the calls! “At least they were cheap phone sex calls” she finally said about those phonesex chats he had been enjoying behind her back, as if the fact that he at least had the good sense to select girls who provided their sexual phone services for cheap was to be enthused about! I asked if that was the only thing she was upset about, after all, if my own husband had been the one having live one on one sexual conversations with other women, I suspect I would have gotten raving mad about the whole thing!
“You know” she said finally… “Not really. I mean in the beginning I suppose I was, I mean he was calling other women to fill needs that I was supposed to be filling, but I realized that there was really no harm done. He was calling strangers he had never seen in his life, to act on fantasy impulses that I might be uncomfortable with and I suppose I did feel uncomfortable, yet at the same time understanding. After all, you and I go out on ladies nights ever week, and you know what we talk about sometimes and how sexually charged our gossips can get, so what’s the difference?”
Her response made me stop and think about it for a while. It had certainly taken me by surprise, and I couldn’t help feeling that she might have a point. After all, we all know that the women who pick those calls are nothing like the pictures they put on their websites so it could be rationalized that it is not the person that her husband had been having phonesex with, but rather a fantasy, a voice who was whomever he wanted her to be.
“I have called my own husband watching porn on many occasions” I said to her, “so I suppose I can understand where you’re coming from! I am not sure I would be able to be so generous with my own husband…”
And before I could continue, she gave me “the coup de grace” so to speak.
“Here is the thing… After I made him feel guilty for using my credit card without my authorization, I suggested that next time he was going to call one those lines, he should be doing when I was there, listening in… After all, if he was having fun on the side, shouldn’t I be included?”
I was flabbergasted! This was my dear sweet childhood friend I was talking to. The girl who had her first kiss a full year after I had mine… Who lost her virginity after she went to college when all of us had become “women” years before. And here she was telling that she and her husband were engaged in some 3some phone affairs. It was crazy… And exciting.
“And…. Did you?” I finally asked her.
“Yes…” She said. “And before you ask, yes, it was a lot of fun!”